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Can someone please explain this to me: when people break up and say... this isn't going to lead to marriage but we could be friends, or we could do lunch or something, people don't mean it, do they?
This scene from the Social Network (Brilliant movie by the way)
where Erika is breaking up with Mark
Erika: Let's just be friends
Mark: Who are you kidding? We aren't going to be just friends.
Erika: I was trying to be polite. I have no intentions of being your friend.
And a good quote:
Having the love of your life say you can just be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can keep it.
In the past, when I've broken off a relationship with someone, I'm very clear about it.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, even when I have a solid reason to break it off with a woman (or she breaks it off with me), I'm often still genuinely interested in staying connected, even if/when the connection is different. So many women are just... wonderful people.
But I have yet to find a woman I've seriously dated that chose to remain in contact afterwards. So out of respect for her, I tend to maintain radio silence.
It depends how bad the breakup is. If it really hurts, they probably don't want contact anymore. But if it's mutual, then they could still be friends.
ReplyDeleteYou go out, you enjoy yourself, zero attraction or incompatible goals or whatever. Break up, but still friends. Why's that hard to believe?
ReplyDeleteI'm happily married and still friends with some of the women I've dated. That is probably just me though; most people probably do not really mean it.
ReplyDeleteMy philosophy is, some women are just amazing, amazing people. I love them as human beings with precious souls, but they are just not compatible with me for marriage. So it would make sense to be their friends but not their spouse. People who do not share this outlook with me generally have some sort of expectation to only meet other girls/guys for marriage, and anything else is a waste of time. I think this means they are using whoever they date as a means to an end (getting married). I know this is not the case for some, and that for some it would just be dangerous to have friends with the opposite sex, but this is what I hold.