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I wonder if anyone feels the same way.
I feel different. I feel like I'm in no-mans land. I feel like I don't really belong.
When I meet guys, I always feel one of two things:
1) Either they look at me like this cool alien who fell from a different planet.
And even though the conversation flows, and things happen, we are just from a different world.
2) Or guys look at me as if I am totally normal. And we chat, and we laugh.
And I feel like they just don't get me.
Is there anybody out there with the same syndrome?
Tania, I felt every word of this post.
ReplyDeleteWhen I used to go to Singles' Events I'd walk out feeling a cross between hopeless and invisible. Yeah, of course people saw me and talked to me, but I didn't felt like I was really being seen or appreciated.
Being different was the most painful feeling throughout dating. People would tell me that I was single because I'm 'so special'...once in a while I'd tell them that if this is what I get for being 'so special' I'll gladly exchange the product for one of lesser value and marry someone who matches my boringness.
There were plenty of guys who didn't get me, but I'm not sure if I really gave them a chance. I was too busy having my own difficulty getting me that I definitely had falso perceptions of the other side.
The problem is that as women in the Orthodox dating world, it's really hard to feel confident if we don't fit the mold. I know that everyone has unsecurities about this, but some of us are just a little more eccentric than others, and it's hard to embrace it when it seems to bring on rejection.
This insecurity made it hard for me to actually believe who could be out there who was right for me. Looking back, I wish I had more confidence to believe that I'd find someone I could live happily with, but of course there was no way for me to know that.
Now, my uniqueness- which used to be my biggest insecurity- is now one of my biggest assets. It makes me a better employee, a better friend, and a better wife.
Girl, he's out there. Ya gotta believe your time will come. Till then, rock on in your awesomeness.
I just wrote something very similar: http://princessofhashem.blogspot.com/2012/01/what-makes-you-different-makes-you.html
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