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1) Did the conversation flow?
2) If it did, did one of the parties have to do most of the talking?
3) Who was the conversation focused on: the girl or the guy?
4) Was the date one flowing conversation or was it more like an interview?
Ok, so I think most people would agree that a good conversation in dating would be a healthy balance in conversation between the young man and woman seeing each other.
When the guy talks non-stop for the first hour and a half of the date and I think my brain will dry out from the focus and attention this man requires, needless to say, that wouldn't be one of the greatest dates of my life.
I have also heard guys complain about girls who will not shut their beautiful mouths during the date.
The best scenario is when a guy talks about himself enough to make you feel like you aren't sitting with a total stranger and when he displays genuine (or at least pretend) interest in you and your life.
RJ posed this fascinating question before me: if a guy talks about himself the entire date and then dumps me, does that mean he hates himself?
Interesting. I don't think he would necessarily hate himself, but that he's so self-absorbed all he can do is talk about himself (his favorite subject) and since he has probably predetermined or prematurely determined the date isn't worth it, just fills the time discussing the thing he knows about best (himself).
ReplyDeleteAt a recent shabbos meal, a group of 4 dating girls complained that guys don't talk enough, or barely at all. The biggest problem they cited was that guys don't know how to properly inquire about a girl's activities in a give-and-take fashion.
For example: she'll ask about his summer activities, but he won't in turn ask her about what she did.
Gosh, give a man some credit. If a guy talks about himself for the whole date and then dumps you it may also be because he doesn't want to have to keep up the conversation the entire time. Or, he wants someone who he won't completely overshadow in conversation.
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