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Growing up, I knew I wanted to finish high school, go to a seminary, graduate from college and life went pretty much according to plan until I was done with college.
In my head, I never planned for a state where I would be out of college and single.
In my head, I was going to be married after I was done with college, and life would continue in that vain. Having this unplanned phase come onto me and understanding that there is a limit to what I can do about it, has been quite challenging in many ways.
I don't know why I never considered it, why I never considered this as a possibility.
Even married people have things that don't work out as planned. Infertility, a special-needs child, job loss, unexpected loss of a family member - I grant you that expecting to be married is a common plan, and a difficult one to come to grips with not working out, but dealing with the unexpected now will make you more resilient in the future.
ReplyDeleteLife always throws curveballs. Very few from our background plan to be still single.
ReplyDeleteBut it is at those times that one can recognize God more than if everything went swimmingly. Oddly enough we think of Him less when everything goes to plan. Because it was our plan, rather than His.
I agree with tesyaa - even in marriage unexpected things can shake up your life in various different ways. Certainly, the time you have been given to be single should be a time of self-growth.
ReplyDeleteIt's harder to improve personal imperfections when you're married, because you now have to devote time to spend with you spouse, working on the relationship, other obligations due to married life, etc. In retrospect, I think I had more time for self reflection when I was single, and now it's more of a juggling act. In some ways, I wish I had been more cognizant of that to have been more focused in preparing myself for marriage by being more active in making myself a better person.
We all have faults, and no one is perfect, so I would advise to think about things you may need to work out before marriage. You will be much happier in the long run to have spent valuable time in a positive, constructive fashion.
Hatzlacha!
what g-d wants is for us to move along on the path he provides, even when it wasn't in the script. we all think we will live a certain type of life and are usually thrown something else. keep smiling! rachelli.
ReplyDeleteProbably the effect of society expectations, made up your future without your permission.
ReplyDelete