Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Concerns? Let Me Know

Image: http://2.bp.blogspot.com

This is an endless debate I have with family and friends:
If I am dating a guy, and my friends/family see something in him that concerns them, should they let me know?


Now of course, their perspective is that if they tell me and I break up with the guy as a result, then I will see it as their fault, and if I don't break up with the guy and end up marrying him, I will always know my family and friends did not like him. So they feel like they are in a lose lose situation.

And I hear that. I do. Never the less, I think I prefer to know.
I would like to have my eyes wide open before marriage and be able to evaluate every concern and decide if it is one I want to deal with for the rest of my life.

What if I end up marrying him? Will I hold it against my family? No, because I know they had my best interest in mind and they cared. And if I break up later, the fact that they expressed their concerns helped me make up my mind when I finally did decide to end it.

This came up recently because I was with a friend at an event and there were few chairs.
And one of the only available seats was next to this guy who I was going out with that week.
He winked at my friend and told her: "Come on, you know you want to sit next to me."
I was standing there, but I did not hear the comment. And I only found out about it after we broke up.
So I think I would have liked to know. I might have factored it into my decision making process and ended things sooner.


1 comments:

  1. True friends will let you know, but a true friend will also make sure that it's a serious issue & not one of opinions, only. An arrogantly flirtatious remark to a friend of yours by someone you were considering marrying? Serious.

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